My dream. Also, I think too much..

You know those dreams you have that seem so real when you wake up you're like "did that really happen?" Well I had one of those dreams last night, and when I woke up, I was kind of sad it wasn't real. All I remember is being outside and we still had our camper and all of a sudden, my cat that died back in 2009 like popped her head out of one of the windows and was meowing at me. So I started like freaking out because in my dream I acted more like she had run away or something (which makes zero sense because she was an indoor cat). Anyway, I started freaking out and being like "I haven't seen you in so long!" and I was practically crying in my dream, and she was rubbing all over me and purring like crazy. Then I woke up, and was kind of sad. :(
But I thought it was kind of cool that she "visited" me in my dream. So I went outside where we buried her and visited her.

So I've been thinking a lot lately, and when I think, it's usually not about good things. I've been keeping this inside for a long time, but I really need to get it off my chest. I'm gonna start with when my sister was up here. So in my last entry I talked about how my grandfather wasn't doing good. Well, I haven't seen him since he had his stroke like 2 months ago (I don't have my license, or a car). So I've been really wanting to go and see him, but every damn time my dad or someone goes to visit him, IT'S WHEN I HAVE TO WORK. Every. Single. Time. So my sister that lives on the other side of the United States saw him more times than I have and I live like 40 minutes away from him, since he's in the nursing home now. It just irritated me, and this happened even before my sister came up. My dad would go after he dropped me off at work, but on his days off or my days off? Nope, didn't want to visit him.
Also, my grandmother drove my sister out to visit him all the times they went. But she has never even offered to take me to visit him. Maybe I'm just thinking too much but sometimes it feels like my family doesn't love me as much as my sister. I feel excluded from things and it sucks. I've also been thinking, "what if I moved to a different state? I wonder if they would miss me. I wonder if when I came home, they would act the same as when my sister comes home.."
I also felt this way about the relationship between my sister and our mom. I've always felt like she has a better relationship, like our mom loves her more.

I don't know, this is stupid and it's giving me a headache thinking about it. So I'm stopping my entry here. I'm posting a picture of my cat that popped up in my dream because I feel like it and I miss her.

Her name was Chelsea, but I called her Pouse. I have weird nicknames for my animals. =P
I had to go onto Myspace to get this picture..*shivers* *cringes* It's a hell hole basically, I hadn't been on it in awhile. HAHA.

Well anyway now I'm ending this entry. I'll write again sometime! :3